Once upon a time, back before anyone let the horse out of the barn, there was vanilla sex. It was only the Genesis of sexuality but then ...there was light! This is where slavery isn't something to flee from! (Appropriate topic for Passover.)
While taking shortcuts to get to the "meat and potatoes" might be a way of life for some, it usually comes as no surprise that anyone with creativity (or Attention Deficit) cannot do the vanilla thing. So, what goes on in the bedroom (why stop here?), stays in the bedroom? ...especially if there's a few mooring cleats around an 8 foot window in the bedroom. In this position, creativity would be needed to be vanilla. Water paint and a shower curtain can be the canvas to complete the memory.
But what about those who just cannot conform to society or social norms, and make sexual taboos a way of life? Polyamory and am bisexuality and an array of other "disorders" may not be a comfortable lifestyle for "the majority" but the minority are thriving among their own kind.
It takes a community to raise a kid and so the children within these arrangements are loved, nurtured, and cared for far beyond the "normal" family unit. The typical family unit in the USA has managed to put walls and fences up to protect those within and their material possessions. This group becomes isolated with an occasional outing to the country club, church or mall. Not so the children raised within the creative family unit. There is a definite foster of sensitivity to the needs of others, consideration beyond the "me-go" world, and open-mindedness as a core value.
I have been fortunate to have made the acquaintance of of one individual who had the intelligence to be among the first to have completed the LSAT with no errors. After scoring his law degree from UC-Berkley, he went on to become one of the few who would facilitate legal services to the "tranny" community. Arguing cases before the Supreme Court and establishing a law office in Hawaii which proclaims its'own message of freedom from "the establishment." His complex sexuality followed in the same nontraditional patterns. For many, being his companion would require a different sort of logic, a logic that detours from the mainstream in both philosophy and activity. For myself it was a fine-tuned intuition which allowed me to enjoy fully his personality. If I had been a conformist a "merging of the minds" would never have been possible. It's certain that not many could come to an understanding of this social language as it is something very difficult to learn without having a predisposition. In other words if you have to learn "it," you won't be living "it" in its' natural state. By seeking to define, you've missed the whole point.
And so the rest of the world can only sneer and insinuate their path is hell bound. This is not the lifestyle for the rank-and-file soldier of an established ethos.
Looking from the cleat-studded window, I view a world that others may never know. I'm content on this side of the window and feel a cold pity for those "others" within the landscape below. If only for a blink of an eye, you could sense this world!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Skin deep or You can't judge a book by it's cover
Misunderstood. You might hear this comment from a teenager. You might even hear this from someone with unclear motives or intentions. Exit down gender dysphoria street with me and you'll see even a therapist would need a therapist to figure this one out!
Being gay is well, black and white. You are or you aren't. If your door swings both ways, you're "bi" which is no longer as black and white as being just "gay." And while being bi "can" be a lifestyle for an opportunist (but not always) this does not usually describe the the life and times of those who are gay. If it is still true that only 10% of us are gay, than I conclude that our "opportunities" are indeed rare.
Enter the topic of gender dysphoria. Ready? Climb out of the box that society has put you in to get a look at some of the dimensions (not to be confused with dementia)of this interesting personality. This is not a lifestyle. It is not chosen. Being gay is not chosen either, but living the "lifestyle" is a matter of choice. Some believe living the gay life is a political choice, others make a choice not to live it based on some hallucination that God or Jesus told them not to. (A deity that tells you to love one another but makes a bunch of moral laws directing us toward hatred and discrimination?...a little "smelly" of a convenient man-made religion for gains of power and politics-- and a little gold too,..."earrings for the next golden calf please!")
Back to gender dysphoria. It really isn't dysphoria at all to those who "get it." The state of dysphoria vanishes upon awareness. It takes a few years to figure things out but eventually the light goes on. It is then a matter of living in the light or ripping the light out down to the fixture, wiring, and even the fuse box! (Denial, denial, denial!)
Our lovely Mel, my lovely Mel that is, has helped me understand what no therapist could. And although Mel is not a cheap date (partner) she does not come with all those billing statements and co-pays! She does have all the requirements of a girly-girl. I have a few magazine subscriptions to prove this (Redbook, Oprah, Good Housekeeping, Real Simple and other various Martha subscriptions). Basically Mel says she sees pink daisies in her head but since she is 6' tall, built like a brick-shit-house, and "well grounded" with a size 13 in MEN'S shoes, everyone else sees hammers and basketballs dancing over her head. If she had a dollar for everyone that accidentally called her SIR she could retire! ...for example...the bathroom brawl in a restaurant in Door County. Despite her "C" cup bra, the old ladies in line to use the toilet insisted she was in the wrong bathroom.
They caused quite a stir to this potential "Sir" and all she wanted to do was pee and get the hell out of there! Even though she politely corrected them, they would not let it go. Of course I couldn't resist throwing a "tsk-tsk shame on you at the old ladies who were let out of the group home for the day (literally). I also had the pleasure of telling them that they should all be ashamed of themselves for acting this way in public! They were brutal....
Our same Mel was asked to pose for a picture at a drag show. It didn't help that we had just come from a Purim costume party ("Jew-fest" as one of our friends called it- and if you don't really know what Purim is - google it.) Mel is probably on someone's Facebook page tagged as the "Queen of all the drag queens of Wausau" that night. She told me that she had two choices-- #1- smile for the camera Or #2- explain that she indeed had a vagina at birth. She opted for option #1. She said it was "easier".
By the way, Mel and I are book ends because of our gender issues. Although by appearance she wears the pants of the house...she really wears the sundresses. I have the collection of suspenders, ties, can tie a bowtie, likes pipes, and even likes to dress-up in a tux! Georgia O'Keefe look out!
I do require Mel to use her "guerrilla paws" to help in automotive maintenance but she really would rather not be under a truck/car. She does look cute with a little grease on her though. So, this is just another twist in our road. Something to think about if you meet us and say, "How do you do?" (Do what exactly?)
Being gay is well, black and white. You are or you aren't. If your door swings both ways, you're "bi" which is no longer as black and white as being just "gay." And while being bi "can" be a lifestyle for an opportunist (but not always) this does not usually describe the the life and times of those who are gay. If it is still true that only 10% of us are gay, than I conclude that our "opportunities" are indeed rare.
Enter the topic of gender dysphoria. Ready? Climb out of the box that society has put you in to get a look at some of the dimensions (not to be confused with dementia)of this interesting personality. This is not a lifestyle. It is not chosen. Being gay is not chosen either, but living the "lifestyle" is a matter of choice. Some believe living the gay life is a political choice, others make a choice not to live it based on some hallucination that God or Jesus told them not to. (A deity that tells you to love one another but makes a bunch of moral laws directing us toward hatred and discrimination?...a little "smelly" of a convenient man-made religion for gains of power and politics-- and a little gold too,..."earrings for the next golden calf please!")
Back to gender dysphoria. It really isn't dysphoria at all to those who "get it." The state of dysphoria vanishes upon awareness. It takes a few years to figure things out but eventually the light goes on. It is then a matter of living in the light or ripping the light out down to the fixture, wiring, and even the fuse box! (Denial, denial, denial!)
Our lovely Mel, my lovely Mel that is, has helped me understand what no therapist could. And although Mel is not a cheap date (partner) she does not come with all those billing statements and co-pays! She does have all the requirements of a girly-girl. I have a few magazine subscriptions to prove this (Redbook, Oprah, Good Housekeeping, Real Simple and other various Martha subscriptions). Basically Mel says she sees pink daisies in her head but since she is 6' tall, built like a brick-shit-house, and "well grounded" with a size 13 in MEN'S shoes, everyone else sees hammers and basketballs dancing over her head. If she had a dollar for everyone that accidentally called her SIR she could retire! ...for example...the bathroom brawl in a restaurant in Door County. Despite her "C" cup bra, the old ladies in line to use the toilet insisted she was in the wrong bathroom.
They caused quite a stir to this potential "Sir" and all she wanted to do was pee and get the hell out of there! Even though she politely corrected them, they would not let it go. Of course I couldn't resist throwing a "tsk-tsk shame on you at the old ladies who were let out of the group home for the day (literally). I also had the pleasure of telling them that they should all be ashamed of themselves for acting this way in public! They were brutal....
Our same Mel was asked to pose for a picture at a drag show. It didn't help that we had just come from a Purim costume party ("Jew-fest" as one of our friends called it- and if you don't really know what Purim is - google it.) Mel is probably on someone's Facebook page tagged as the "Queen of all the drag queens of Wausau" that night. She told me that she had two choices-- #1- smile for the camera Or #2- explain that she indeed had a vagina at birth. She opted for option #1. She said it was "easier".
By the way, Mel and I are book ends because of our gender issues. Although by appearance she wears the pants of the house...she really wears the sundresses. I have the collection of suspenders, ties, can tie a bowtie, likes pipes, and even likes to dress-up in a tux! Georgia O'Keefe look out!
I do require Mel to use her "guerrilla paws" to help in automotive maintenance but she really would rather not be under a truck/car. She does look cute with a little grease on her though. So, this is just another twist in our road. Something to think about if you meet us and say, "How do you do?" (Do what exactly?)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Life's a Drag!
Life's a Drag!
There are some guys who make better women than, let's face it, most women! While I may not be an expert on what makes up a drop-dead gorgeous woman, I can tell you what makes me pause and say...WOW! Saturday night was a treat for us. While I was asked by a few friends to take them to a drag queen show, I never thought I was could find anything close to a show like the ones in Milwaukee or Madison. I was wrong. The Oz had quite a night. We saw ample queens. They are talented. I wouldn't hesitate to say they are even amazing.
Blur the lines with me for a moment. Put aside what generations have handed you. Why do we repeat social patterns and call anyone else "thinkers outside the box?" No box to start with - men have to be GI Joes, gals have to wear sundresses and love to shop. He puts a dress on ....oh, oh ....he's sick. She looks like a boy...woof!
Really? We can't get beyond some very archaic social norms? It's ok that we "dress" little boys and grown men in gowns for some churches...and I contend that most of them are not cloistered but closeted. I won't start "pontificating" about the psychosis of this social group. If we all just questioned what is handed down to us and did not accept anything before we gave it a lot of consideration, we would see a different society with less hatred. All you out there who are so busy pointing what you think is right and wrong have followed your own misguided translations. No man has the direct pipeline to the heavens. Sorry. So, these queens are as much an image of the beauty of God as anyone else - but more so! Go Girls!!
And to the very good looking dykes who make better men than men, I also say: Go Girls!! And trust me, there's no need for Viagra in those bedrooms. The sensitivity and intelligence of a woman can take you to heights that a man just can't unless he's a queen or gay himself.
Saturday night showed me that central WI supported diversity. A good mix was present. For the most part, I am surprised how Stevens Point and Wausau can show that different communities can live with each other peacefully. With the exception of a few misguided crusaders, our cities can offer acceptance to those who hold different views on life.
Peep Art
Peeps!
That could mean a lot of things to many "peeps" but to us it means what to do with those sticky, gooey, marshmallow candies that some actually eat. We create with them...and I couldn't stand to think of eating one! While they may look like they can play well with others, peeps are a difficult medium to work with. They do work well with hot glue though. It helps that they come in all sorts of colors... blue, yellow, orange, brown, green, and pink.
They also like to dress-up and wear foamy paint make-up.
It really is convenient that I work at a craft store. I get so much inspiration. My co-workers have a ton of ideas. I hope they join the fun next year. Some of their thoughts are so off-the-wall that it really will be amusing for everyone.
This year the final selections that we submitted were Peep Pod, Line-up, Tepeep. and Peepsville. We decided to enter the show a week before the entries were due. Any more time and it could have been an unhealthy obsession. It turned into an addiction to keep creating and adding on. It really does take over the house-- at least the mess does.
It has been a fun week. We have so many ideas for shows to come. The show will be starting on this Saturday and runs for two weeks here in the guggenheim of central WI - Stevens Point.
That could mean a lot of things to many "peeps" but to us it means what to do with those sticky, gooey, marshmallow candies that some actually eat. We create with them...and I couldn't stand to think of eating one! While they may look like they can play well with others, peeps are a difficult medium to work with. They do work well with hot glue though. It helps that they come in all sorts of colors... blue, yellow, orange, brown, green, and pink.
They also like to dress-up and wear foamy paint make-up.
It really is convenient that I work at a craft store. I get so much inspiration. My co-workers have a ton of ideas. I hope they join the fun next year. Some of their thoughts are so off-the-wall that it really will be amusing for everyone.This year the final selections that we submitted were Peep Pod, Line-up, Tepeep. and Peepsville. We decided to enter the show a week before the entries were due. Any more time and it could have been an unhealthy obsession. It turned into an addiction to keep creating and adding on. It really does take over the house-- at least the mess does.
It has been a fun week. We have so many ideas for shows to come. The show will be starting on this Saturday and runs for two weeks here in the guggenheim of central WI - Stevens Point.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Only on Tuesdays (my day off)
Garland is not just a Christmas decoration. The door needed something and I had these garlands and spools of ribbon, a few spring trinkets and wheat...I still have a few more pieces that I'm working on to add. I never know what it will turn into.
I've also converted old hardware nuts and bolts containers into spice drawers.
A few peg-boards also gave extra space for the kitchen as well as easy access. It's hard to leave work at work. I frequently "re-planogram," use labels when I can, hooks, peg-board and sometimes do inventory! We even have a shopping cart!
I will be working on painting Polish folk art on the woodwork when we can open the windows. It's always been my dream to feel like I'm back in the Polish countrysides. I may have to forget the thatched roof. Storks don't like our winters here anyway!
I've also converted old hardware nuts and bolts containers into spice drawers.
A few peg-boards also gave extra space for the kitchen as well as easy access. It's hard to leave work at work. I frequently "re-planogram," use labels when I can, hooks, peg-board and sometimes do inventory! We even have a shopping cart!
I will be working on painting Polish folk art on the woodwork when we can open the windows. It's always been my dream to feel like I'm back in the Polish countrysides. I may have to forget the thatched roof. Storks don't like our winters here anyway!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
A new perspective...
To begin again. This time a different perspective. Mine. Mel is going to focus her blogging on our new site about freezer foods. Sounds simple? It's a lifestyle that pays back in time and delicious meals when you're on the fly. So, you've got me now. Here goes to our future together!
Starting with the most recent, Mel and I attended a small event which was quite moving on Friday night. Our little town has a historical landmark that was a shul. No, not a school. A small house of prayer for local Jews. Not as grand as big city temples, this little rural synagogue last had services in the 1980's. Friday night it was once again full of prayer and song. The gathering of a few original members who were children back then along with members of Mount Sinai in Wausau made this event happen. It was moving to see the now older children kiss the mezzuzah on the shul's door. The door that they opened when they attended Hebrew classes or celebrated their bar mitzvah's, now years and years later opens the door of their memories. Moved to tears, they hear the same Hebrew prayers once again. I had the honor of taking the Torah among the members during the service. It marks a few changes to contrast with a different past. Back then a woman would not do this. As I walked with the Torah in my arms, I saw the faces of those who reverently touched the Torah with their prayerbook and then mindfully kiss their siddur (prayerbook.) It was almost as if I could see the faces of those who made the shul come alive so many years ago. Our cantor, our very own Melanie, led us through some fitting Hebrew melodies. Rabbi Dan, a rebbe tonight, read the parashat for the first time facing the ark, not facing the congregation as is done now. A change that we could only reflect on by seeing the rabbi's back as he read.
Starting with the most recent, Mel and I attended a small event which was quite moving on Friday night. Our little town has a historical landmark that was a shul. No, not a school. A small house of prayer for local Jews. Not as grand as big city temples, this little rural synagogue last had services in the 1980's. Friday night it was once again full of prayer and song. The gathering of a few original members who were children back then along with members of Mount Sinai in Wausau made this event happen. It was moving to see the now older children kiss the mezzuzah on the shul's door. The door that they opened when they attended Hebrew classes or celebrated their bar mitzvah's, now years and years later opens the door of their memories. Moved to tears, they hear the same Hebrew prayers once again. I had the honor of taking the Torah among the members during the service. It marks a few changes to contrast with a different past. Back then a woman would not do this. As I walked with the Torah in my arms, I saw the faces of those who reverently touched the Torah with their prayerbook and then mindfully kiss their siddur (prayerbook.) It was almost as if I could see the faces of those who made the shul come alive so many years ago. Our cantor, our very own Melanie, led us through some fitting Hebrew melodies. Rabbi Dan, a rebbe tonight, read the parashat for the first time facing the ark, not facing the congregation as is done now. A change that we could only reflect on by seeing the rabbi's back as he read.
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