Skin deep or You can't judge a book by it's cover

Misunderstood. You might hear this comment from a teenager. You might even hear this from someone with unclear motives or intentions. Exit down gender dysphoria street with me and you'll see even a therapist would need a therapist to figure this one out!

Being gay is well, black and white. You are or you aren't. If your door swings both ways, you're "bi" which is no longer as black and white as being just "gay." And while being bi "can" be a lifestyle for an opportunist (but not always) this does not usually describe the the life and times of those who are gay. If it is still true that only 10% of us are gay, than I conclude that our "opportunities" are indeed rare.

Enter the topic of gender dysphoria. Ready? Climb out of the box that society has put you in to get a look at some of the dimensions (not to be confused with dementia)of this interesting personality. This is not a lifestyle. It is not chosen. Being gay is not chosen either, but living the "lifestyle" is a matter of choice. Some believe living the gay life is a political choice, others make a choice not to live it based on some hallucination that God or Jesus told them not to. (A deity that tells you to love one another but makes a bunch of moral laws directing us toward hatred and discrimination?...a little "smelly" of a convenient man-made religion for gains of power and politics-- and a little gold too,..."earrings for the next golden calf please!")

Back to gender dysphoria. It really isn't dysphoria at all to those who "get it." The state of dysphoria vanishes upon awareness. It takes a few years to figure things out but eventually the light goes on. It is then a matter of living in the light or ripping the light out down to the fixture, wiring, and even the fuse box! (Denial, denial, denial!)

Our lovely Mel, my lovely Mel that is, has helped me understand what no therapist could. And although Mel is not a cheap date (partner) she does not come with all those billing statements and co-pays! She does have all the requirements of a girly-girl. I have a few magazine subscriptions to prove this (Redbook, Oprah, Good Housekeeping, Real Simple and other various Martha subscriptions). Basically Mel says she sees pink daisies in her head but since she is 6' tall, built like a brick-shit-house, and "well grounded" with a size 13 in MEN'S shoes, everyone else sees hammers and basketballs dancing over her head. If she had a dollar for everyone that accidentally called her SIR she could retire! ...for example...the bathroom brawl in a restaurant in Door County. Despite her "C" cup bra, the old ladies in line to use the toilet insisted she was in the wrong bathroom.
They caused quite a stir to this potential "Sir" and all she wanted to do was pee and get the hell out of there! Even though she politely corrected them, they would not let it go. Of course I couldn't resist throwing a "tsk-tsk shame on you at the old ladies who were let out of the group home for the day (literally). I also had the pleasure of telling them that they should all be ashamed of themselves for acting this way in public! They were brutal....

Our same Mel was asked to pose for a picture at a drag show. It didn't help that we had just come from a Purim costume party ("Jew-fest" as one of our friends called it- and if you don't really know what Purim is - google it.) Mel is probably on someone's Facebook page tagged as the "Queen of all the drag queens of Wausau" that night. She told me that she had two choices-- #1- smile for the camera Or #2- explain that she indeed had a vagina at birth. She opted for option #1. She said it was "easier".

By the way, Mel and I are book ends because of our gender issues. Although by appearance she wears the pants of the house...she really wears the sundresses. I have the collection of suspenders, ties, can tie a bowtie, likes pipes, and even likes to dress-up in a tux! Georgia O'Keefe look out!

I do require Mel to use her "guerrilla paws" to help in automotive maintenance but she really would rather not be under a truck/car. She does look cute with a little grease on her though. So, this is just another twist in our road. Something to think about if you meet us and say, "How do you do?" (Do what exactly?)